Unconventional Coaching

Energizing the relationships in your life

May 16, 2013
Long-term Relationships

The Endless Conversation: 2-second Shortcut to Sanity

Ever feel like you are getting nowhere in a conversation with your long-term partner or friend? It’s the same subject over and over.  They can’t seem to stop talking about it, and everything you say in support just seems to expand their comments. They just keep talking.

Example: Asking my husband a question can be tricky. He is full of so much information that sometimes I get more than I want (and he says the same thing about me). Before we know it, we can be down some sort of rabbit trail, completely off topic and put off with each other.

Okay. This idea can seem either obvious or ridiculous, but here’s something that works:

This came from a colleague’s story about how when his boss went on and on, he wished he had a two sided-card that he could just hold up:

Side 1—–I’VE GOT IT



We all laughed when he told us this, because who hasn’t been in a situation where someone blathers on and on…. But guess what? It’s a great idea. The key is to work out a signal ahead of time (when you are calm and connected).

So in our household, we figured it out–it really is okay to hold up our hand and nod, meaning “You can stop now, I’ve got it.” (We usually just say the other one, “Tell me more.”)

Because we’ve worked this out ahead of time, neither one of us takes offense and conversation is smoother and more fun—–and far fewer rolled eyes.

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