Connections That Matter

Energizing the relationships in your life
Jan McClain,  Relationship Coaching My speciality is helping people thrive in their most important relationships.

Has Sex Moved To The Back Burner Of Your Relationship? »

  So you’re in a relatively good relationship–been there a long time. But the juice is gone. Sex is only on the edges of your life. All the excuses are there. Well-worn territory. Want to get it flowing again? Here’s one small, sweet exercise that can take you to the land of possibility. Over a […]
Topic:
Fighting Fair

Problems Bubbling Up On Vacation? »

You are finally alone together–no kids, beautiful environment, amazing hotel room, (or amazing camping spot), cell phones off (for the moment). Opportunity!  Romance, sex, fun, wild and crazy times. And what happens? Suddenly every slight irritation that you’ve had on the trip seems to blow up bigger and bigger. You feel compelled to get tell […]
Topic:
Connecting

Feeling Far Away From Your Love Today? »

Out of touch? Would you like to feel closer tonight? Here’s a thought: “Intimacy with your partner rises or falls in direct proportion to your capacity to listen well,” Harriet Lerner. Have you been really hearing what your partner has to say? Just really listening could pave the way for some closeness, humor, touching, sex——–connection. […]
Topic:
Long-term Relationships

The Endless Conversation: 2-second Shortcut to Sanity »

Ever feel like you are getting nowhere in a conversation with your long-term partner or friend? It’s the same subject over and over.  They can’t seem to stop talking about it, and everything you say in support just seems to expand their comments. They just keep talking. Example: Asking my husband a question can be […]
Topic:
Long-term Relationships

Staying Current »

As you cruise through your facebook or twitter every night and/or morning, have you noticed that often there isn’t much that grabs you? It is almost like, “Why bother?”  Yet you still do it. But then you have times when every post is meaningful–you are shifting from post to article to response and back. Your […]
Topic:
Getting Real

What Do You Want? »

Have you asked yourself this lately?   It is often easier to know what you don’t want, what you can’t stand, what you will not put up with any longer! But that simple question, “What do you want?” Holds the seed of true desire. An opportunity to open yourself to possibility. What is underneath that […]
Topic:
Getting Real

Releasing Disappointments in Relationships »

We recognize the feeling. We expected X and got Y, or even Z. How did this happen?! We thought she understood us, or he really cared, but suddenly the behavior towards us doesn’t fit. We feel lost, angry, or sad. We’re disappointed. It so easy for this to happen in relationships, because our ideas about […]
Topic:
Connecting

Relationships are Hard Work. Really?? »

The New York Times had an interesting headline last week: “That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work.” It actually is a terrific article by Jane Brody about bringing more surprise and pleasure into a relationship, but the title irks me. This equation: relationships = [hard] work is used so often that it has become […]
Topic:
Fighting Fair

That Dreaded Conversation »

Someone asked me the other day about how to deal with an uncomfortable conversation. She was concerned because a relatively new friendship had entered a tough spot. This friend/acquaintance had suddenly seemed irritated with something (she had no idea what), and had asked to meet for coffee. What to say? How to be? She had […]
Topic:
Connecting

Self-Disclosure »

I have been asked several times recently if I am in a good relationship. That’s easy. I am. What I mean by that is that we each feel that we are real, honest, and at the same time, still romantic and deeply in love. There is an amazing texture and complexity to our relationship–an understanding […]
Older Posts »